Monday, September 22, 2008

Mom by Day, Striper by Night

It's a rough life you know... being a striper at night. The house calls and the men, arg, it is a killer! Are you wondering what the hell I am talking about yet? Well get ready to laugh your ass off cause this is a good one!

The mood: Saturday night quite, chilly ,not much going on, it's a great movie night.

Lisa decides to come over for a movie.(Lisa is my sister-in-law and neighbor.) Well she also brought a big bag of cloths that was our nieces. We were going to give them to another friend and neighbor Chelby for her daughters. We decide to go through the bag for fun. We were bord. Let me tell ya the first thing that I pulled out that caught my eye... a red shiny "American Idol" short skirt that was hot! We laugh and throw it in the pile. What? Another thing that catches my eye? Knit stockings! Sweet! I am sure this is what the girls have always wanted! Finally the last thing that really grabbed me a black lacy top with velvet! Oh what a number! It was screaming my name! I had to wear it all together! All I have to say is WOW! I look hot! Like a striper! 2nd South and State here I come!
We took a venture to Chelby's house, you know, to show her the cloths we had in store for her girls! She really did appreciate it! She Always wanted the stripper life for them, and now they had the outfit!
Side note- Chelby would never even let her kids so much as try on this number!
Then it hit us, an adventure! Let's go see Jennica, she will find it funny. So off we went. As we are driving through the neighborhood we see Natalie is having a a party at her house. Well actually it is her husband Ben and it is guys night! Yes this gets good!
Phone call to Natalie... we are going to play a little joke on the boys! She is all game for it! FYI... I know none of these men but I do know most of there wives! And they are all very good boys and hold Temple Recommends. For my readers who don't know what that means... they are the cream of the crop Mormons. They follow all the rules and would never even think about stripers!

Melissa Walks to the door... knock knock!
Natalie answers, I am going to get Ben.
Ben opens door...
Melissa: Yeah I got a page to be here?
Melissa: Really?
Ben: No I am sorry, I am so sorry NO!
Melissa and Natalie: Laugh!
Natalie: Ben it is my friend!
Ben: Oh thank you! Very relived! Hey please come down stairs I would love to do this to my buddies!
Melissa takes deep breath... believe it or not I was REALLY nervous.
We all walk to the top of the stairs.
Ben opens the door and says...
Ben: Who ordered the striper? I am trying not to laugh at all there faces! There jaws were dropped to the floor in amazement!
Natalie picking on a poor boy says Joel was this you!
Poor Joel just shakes his head.
Ben: I wanna know who did this!
Then it came out we could not keep it straight any more.

That my friends was classic! I will never forget those poor men's faces! I am so sorry you were the butt of the joke, but it was great!

I needed a drink and Jennica was not home yet. So off to the gas station. I contemplated just having one of the girls get it, then I thought, no this will be fun! I walk in and the 3 people that were in there just stared at me! Mind you I am in a mini van! I grab a bottle water and go pay. I finally just start laughing because I could feel the eyes staring at me in the back of my head! It was awesome!

Next we are off to Jennica's. She knows something is up we called her to see if she was home. Her husband just looked at me like I was crazy! He knew who I was! He grew up with my brother, so he was really no fun! He just said please don't get arrested! Words you should not take lightly!

Last but not least Julie and her poor hubby Trent. Trent is a seminary teacher and probably the nicest guy! We get there and knock but no answer. I was really nervous because they have teenagers! So we think about what to do. Then a cop drives by! OH shit, I am going to jail! Then I see Trent walk by! It is now or never, so I knock!

Trent: Hello.
Melissa: Yeah I got a page to be here?
Trent: Really? He is sooo confused.
Melissa: Yeah
Trent: Well would you like to come in, you look cold!
Julie: HI, nice outfit Melissa. Trent this is Melissa Lisa's sister-in-law.
Trent: OH!
Everyone starts laughing!
Now I actually feel bad for Trent. He did not think twice about me and that I may have been a call girl. He is this good! I really feel bad! I am sooo sorry Trent! As Julie put it... he was probably going to give you a blessing! I probably need one after that! Julie you have a good man! I am sorry Trent! Lisa put me up to it!

Overall it was funny and we had a blast being dumb! I will never ever forget the look on all the men's faces that were at Natalie's. I just keep laughing! Thank you for letting us have a good time at your expense!


Lisa said...

I am sitting her LMAO - it was so much fun!!! You were a good sport and you looked so HOT!!!

Everybody had a great sense of humor and a story to share with all their co-workers today.

You did awesome!! I want to do it again ...

Natalie said...

OK. Lisa told me you blogged about it, so I had to come read. I laugh every time I think about the deer-in-the-headlight looks on all the guys faces! It was so funny and they thought they were so busted. Ha ha ha! After you left, the guys told my husband that it was an awesome prank and that he's lucky to have a cool wife and cool friends. Thanks for pranking him. It was too funny! Next time, pick me up. I want to go watch.

Nisa and Colby said...

HA HA HA! Oh my gosh that is too funny!

Julie said...

Perfect layout of the I would like to set the record straight....I said "Melissa, you look HOT!!" I should have said smokin hot, but I was a little suprised to see you dressed as a hooker...although the look is good on you! lol. Don't worry Trent will survive.

Jennica said...

What a funny night! Thank you for thinking of me. You guys are the greatest. Oh and by the way... I would wear those fish nets everywhere if I had your cute legs.

Jeremy, Laura-Ann and Madilynn Nutt said...

You are such a dork. J/K
Hey I tag you. Look at my blog to see.